I have to admit that it felt pretty good when I was heading out for a run this evening when people would have been doing last minute prep for New Years Eve events. Not because I felt smug or that I thought I was better than that, and not even because I didn't have anything better to do. It felt good because I am in control. I haven't been an angel this festive season, but I certainly haven't been eating or drinking to the same extent as previous. Do I miss it? Actually no I don't.
Control is something that I don't find easy. I am a sucker for a good cracker and cheese, or another chocolate a it is Christmas (or any other time of the year!), and certainly yes I would love another glass of wine, Baileys, G&T, Snowball, mulled wine, e.t.c!! However I then suffer stupid levels of guilt and self loathing and what might have been a treat, becomes an overwhelming need to stuff myself because I am not worth anything else than to be an overweight idiot that can't achieve at anything. Blimey, this one is getting a bit personal!!
Anyway, running gives me some of that control back. 2003 I decided I was going to go running and the following morning I did so of I went around Pitsford Water. I had never been all the way around the reservoir before and as such did not know how far it was; the bends kept coming and the water seemed to go for ever but eventually I ended back in the carpark. 7 miles later and not being able to get up, or down the stairs for about a week later but I did it. Slowly. From that point onward I spent every late Spring and Summer participating in a few events, mainly Race for Life 10ks, and other local but larger events. It was sporadic and I came to realise that I could rattle of a 10k without training, as long I could put up with not being quick and not getting any better.
In 2011 I decided that I needed to do something bigger so I applied for a ballot place in the Great North Run. I didn't get it and was pretty cut up, so I looked at a few different charities, and won a place with Leukemia and Lymphoma Research. I pledged to raise £500 which was a bit of a concern but I would give it a go. I did all my research, I trained and I raised money. I manged to get just over £800 in the end which was amazing. Race day arrived. I thought I had thought of everything, except I hadn't realised how far the station was from the finish which meant that I had some additional running to do! There is so much more to tell about this day and maybe I will in another post. For now, all I can tell you is that that race was outstanding! Not because I was quick but the whole thing. I felt like I could do anything. The support was fantastic and I burst into tears on several occasions!!
The point of these ramblings? The GNR was the start of things. It started getting me to think about races and running in a different way. This was something that I could do. It was a race against myself, no one else so it didn't matter that I was slow and cumbersome. I wanted to do more.
In the November Mike and I conceived and I became a little distracted so my running recommenced after he was born. Quite a while after he was born!
I finally braved contacting my local running club (Desborough and Rothwell Running Club) as I know that running with them will help with technique and speed. It was very scary, especially as the first run with them was supposed to be 8 miles and ended up being 10! They are a great bunch of people and very supportive, which is a good job as I am the slowest! I have also found support through Run Mummy Run and Too Fat to Run facebook pages.
I am looking forward to what 2015 holds for me and my running (including my forth and final GNR :-( !!)
Happy New Year xxx
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